I know that most of my posts are a mix of military news or topics with a personal twist but sometimes I can't help but write something very personal. Today I planned to tell you about the 86th Airlift Wing (Ramstein Air Base, Germany) and their upcoming donation of C-130s to our allies in Poland. I was going to talk about how I love to ride in C-130s and how cool I thought the donation was. But I can't seem to write about it. All I want to write about is how much I miss my Dad.
For the record, I miss my Mom and my entire family. But this week, for some reason, I really specifically miss my Dad. I don't have a reason why, I just do. Truth is that until last week there was a possibility that my father might have a new position that would have him go on a deployment fairly soon. When the decision came and we were told that he wasn't going to be going away I was happy, but he wasn't.
I feel that it's times like these where I miss my Dad the most. When I was talking to him on Sunday, I mentioned that I missed him. He smiled (we video conference) and asked if there was any reason in particular. I said "um, because I just do." I guess that I am realizing the reason why as I type this post.
I feel lucky to have him home, and if the decision had gone the other way I would be just coming to the terms of his upcoming deployment. And this Sunday, I didn't have to do that. I could just talk to him about the every day things. About the cruise he's taking with my Mom and the new clothes he brought for the special occasion. Not about if he knows when and where he's deploying to.
I know, that as I'm saying this that it is such a selfish thing for a military brat to say. After all, so many other Moms and Dads are deployed throughout the world. But my Dad's been in for more than 20 years and I don't want to feel guilty about doing a mini-dance of happiness because I'm happy that he's not going away again. But maybe I should. He wanted to go, and in the end, us military brats know that what they want is the best thing and we must be okay with that as part of the family.
On his way home from work yesterday my Dad called me to say hi. I think he's done that maybe once or twice before in my entire adult life. (He really doesn't like talking on the phone and we usually just talk on Sundays) I missed his call and when I listened to his message I smiled one huge smile. He called to say hi. It's a big deal for me. An even bigger one, because he never gets to do that when he's deployed. My word of the day is GRATEFUL. That I am. GRATEFUL.